Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Freelancers (2012) - Action | Crime | Drama

Freelancers (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Has great cast and what should have been a great movie, well wasn't. Felt forced and nothing really surprising. 3 teenagers who were arrested are set free and become cops. There was nothing unique about this movie. Cop turns bad who gets worse who wants to redeem his life. Robert De Niro has not made a quality film in almost a decade. What happened? Has wealth and fame completely enervated his passion for acting? Very Disappointing.

Alter Egos (2012) - Comedy

Alter Egos (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Seriously?! If this movie is a comedy than I'm Smurfina. Thing with this movie though is that it isn't ever being clever or original with any of its humor. It's extremely predictable and poorly executed. NOT recommended!

30 Beats (2012) - Comedy | Romance

30 Beats (2012) - WORST MOVIE

  30 Beats is an ensemble drama set in modern-day New York, based on the structure and themes of a stage play from the late 18th century called La Ronde, by Arthur Schnitzler. Who knows? In different hands, maybe with a different cast, a different story, a different combination of couplings, the movie could have been better. But that would be a different movie. We're stuck with what we have, and "30 Beats" is terrible.

One in the Chamber (2012) - Action | Crime | Thriller

One in the Chamber (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Seriously, I just didn't even knew what its main story was supposed to be all about. It's getting told in such an incredibly messy and uninteresting way, that I also lost interest in it, pretty quickly. The story seemed to be an incredibly formulaic one anyway, complete with an obligatory love story, so I doubt I missed out on anything. The editing, the pacing, the storytelling, it all seems so incredibly off at times, which makes this movie nearly unwatchable at parts. Cringingly bad! Just like all of the accents in this movie.


Recreator (2012) - Drama | Sci-Fi | Thriller

Recreator (2012) - WORST MOVIE

  I actually caught myself staring at this movie with my jaw dropping in a complete daze. I wasn't looking for a master piece, but this isn't even TV movie material. Awful, just awful!

The Cold Light of Day (2012) - Action | Thriller

The Cold Light of Day (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Please don't watch this. It's just a mistake that Bruce and Sigourney are in this movie. Bruce, why do you play in this kind of movies? And Sigourney? Woman, what happened to you? Where is the alien from you? It's just a terrible movie. Do yourselves a favour and save yourselves 90 minutes of your lives, maybe even take up a hobby, like watching paint dry. 

The Babymakers (2012) - Adventure | Comedy

The Babymakers (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  What this film needed in order to work was, one, a reality check. These events are highly implausible, yet are taken in the manner of sincerity and reality. Two, it needed a script more observant and intelligent. It could still be a raunchy comedy and fulfill this proposition, so my question is, why didn't it? And three, it needed to give both its leads some much deserved screen time instead of subjecting them to ridiculously contrived arguments about donating sperm to a sperm bank multiple times, uncomfortable discussions with the neighbors about possible donations, not to mention other sequences involving homosexual humor and a montage of blows to the scrotal region. I came to laugh, but I did far more wincing - one thing that is almost immediately fatal to comedies.

The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - Horror | Thriller

The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Too much is not enough for this twisted tale of disgusting horror and despair. Are our minds so warped that we find this nonsense entertaining? They should pay us to watch this one. The storyline? Well... whoever wrote that was clearly tripping on acid, it was absurd! Completely random, all over the place, messy and downright stupid.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Lorax (2012) - Animation | Comedy | Family

The Lorax (2012) - GOOD ANIMATION

  The animation was spot on, both realistic and playful. Designs was everything Suess, from the strange shaped buildings to harmonizing goldfish. Lessons to learn. Save the environment. I loved the pink cotton candy tree tops. The artificial town was quite interesting. The plastic bushes were great artwork, but of course disappointing from the green ones we know nowadays. To see the bushes inflated was hilarious, but a strong lesson compared to nowadays people trying to spoil the environment and making our planet inhospitable to growing plants. 
  No more corruption and greed, no more anger, no more chopping down trees. We need our air, so will you do your part to save the world?
  I know I will. Thank you Dr. Seuss. 

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012) - Animation | Adventure | Comedy

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012) - GOOD ANIMATION

  The studios of Aardman did an outstanding job with the animation (or  stop-motion/claymation) in The Pirates: Band of Misfits. I thought it looked sharp, colorful, eye-catching, and all in all, fantastic.
  All of the characters were great, especially Mr. Bobo, the chimpanzee who communicates while holding up cue cards. He's probably the cleverest character in the movie. I have to admit that Queen Victoria was a very effective villain. Kids will probably love it (especially pirate loving ones!) and there is enough in it for adults to put a smile on their faces.

Battleship (2012) - Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi

Battleship (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  The lack of a logical script in this movies together with the bad acting feels like someone took a bunch of broken components and assembled them into a block of illogically connected mess. Turn off your brain and enjoy.

The Hunger Games (2012) - Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi

The Hunger Games (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  The Hunger Games has so many flaws in the storyline that I won't even try to name them. The list would never end. The whole thing is so unlogical. It seems that the story has been made in total of 4 minutes. There is no complexity and this movie is not trying to make you to use your brain at all. Everything is so predictable. The environment of the movie is so exaggerated. The styling, dresses, mood, everything. Someone is trying to be some kind of modern Tim Burton. And I won't even begin with these young actors, who are just not convincing at all. Two words, don't bother.
  PLEASE Hollywood, bring back REAL actors with REAL talent and stop fobbing us off with trash like this!

Bachelorette (2012) - Comedy

Bachelorette (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  It's suppose to be a comedy but I didn't laugh once. It's sort of a female version of "The Hangover", with the drug references going over the top, in a sort of implausible and nasty way; for example, one character snorts coke all night, smokes a bunch of pot, then overdoses on an entire bottle of Xanax, but then recovers in a matter of minutes and is cheering for more booze at the wedding. What is that suppose to teach the children or even adults with drug habits? This film is actually quite disturbing. Just skip it!

Darling Companion (2012) - Drama

Darling Companion (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  Once again a film relies on the faded glory of its Hollywood royalty to tell a silly tale about older folk. A lost dog? The hunt curing and binding the principle couples? Please! Only surgeons, veterinarians, and their wives could have the time and resources to stay at a Colorado lodge to look for a lost dog. Of course, the dog is just the metaphor for the lost romance, to be found, of the couples, mostly Beth (Diane Keaton) and Joseph (Kevin Kline). I'm thinking I might enjoy the second edition of The Expendables, whose 65-year-old Sylvester Stallone is a has been, knows it, and makes no pretense about making a warm and fuzzy film. 

Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal (2012) - Comedy | Horror

Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  The title of Boris Rodriguez’s new film, "Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal", pretty much sums up the experience of watching this dark comedy. But it’s never funny or serious enough to demand my attention. 
  Overall, this movie eats a lot of flesh and blood, but it’s still in need of a pulse.

Sick Boy (2011) - Thriller

Sick Boy (2011) - WORST MOVIE

  As a matter of fact, I don't even know where to start... Everything is chaotic, nothing seems to be logical, which is the "less" problem. The acting is so individually terrible, I thought first, it must be a joke or just my eyes played some sort of tricky games, but no! And they call themselves "actors". No one in this film played decent or at least somewhere like average. My IQ shrunk to zero after this junk.


The Tall Man (2012) - Crime | Drama | Mystery

The Tall Man (2012) - BAD MOVIE

  This movie is pointless. Totally makes no sense. But, seriously, this movie is NOT A THRILLER NOR A HORROR MOVIE! It is just some social theory nonsense making no sense, about kidnapping poor children taking them to rich families. I think the filmmaker might have been ambitious, but a callow hand and too many shortcuts made this tall concoction deflate into just a collapsed pastry.